Guest Blogger: My wife!

I decided the other day that I wanted to guest blog on here as you have all gotten to know my husband's point of view of things, but have never gotten to hear mine! As my due date approaches I have been filled with all kinds of mixed feelings. Of course I am overwhelmed with excitement to finally meet this little being that I have been growing in my body for the past 9 months. With each new kick, jab and hiccup I begin to wonder what kind of person she will be. I can only imagine that with two crazy parents like my husband and I, she will surely have a good sense of humor. I know it will be a little while, but I can't wait to see her smile and hear her laugh at all the small things in life that you and I might take for granted now. That is probably one of the things I am looking forward to the most; seeing her experience things for the first time. The first time she goes to the zoo and sees a bear, the first time her little feet touch the grass or the first time she gets to run through a sprinkler on a hot summer day. To me there is nothing more beautiful that seeing the pure, unspoiled innocence of a child and remembering what it was like to not have a care in the world.

But of course there is the anxiety of this being our first baby. As some of you know, this has not been the easiest pregnancy for me. Being sick day and night from weeks 6-17 there was a time when I thought I would never feel like a normal human being again. But as quickly as the nausea came, it suddenly disappeared overnight and I was finally able to enjoy the fact that I was pregnant. Since then there have been many ups and downs so I can't help but be a little nervous about her actual arrival. My husband and I have prepared as best as we can by reading books, taking classes and of course getting all kinds of advice from friends and family. But can you really ever be prepared to bring a child in to this world? Probably not. I mean, I know labor is going to be painful...but what kind of pain? I would like to try to go as natural as possible, but will I be able to handle it? How will I deal with so much sleep deprivation? What kind of mother will I be? All of these questions swirl around in my mind as her due date gets closer and closer.

The thing I do know for certain is that my husband and I are going to love and support this little girl with every ounce of our being. She hasn't even made her debut in the world and I find myself already extremely protective of her. I know that I have the best possible role model as a mother that I could ever have. Her strength throughout the years has never ceased to amaze me and she will be there to guide me in the right direction.  And I know that my husband is going to be the most unbelievable father. I know this because of how he takes care of me and how he took care of his two little sisters when he was growing up. I could not have asked for a more loving and caring partner in life. Each and every day my love grows stronger  for him and I still cannot believe that I was so lucky in life to have found him not only once, but twice.

So stay tuned! Hopefully only a few more weeks left and we will get to introduce you to our little peanut! :)

36 Weeks

Tuesday marked the day my wife hit 36 weeks complete.  The baby is due just 26 days from now.  Obviously we know that she will make her debut whenever she really wants to, so we’re trying to prepare as best we can before that. Our bags are basically packed (except mine.  I really need to remember to do that!)  and we have all the immediate things we need.   I feel like we’re prepared about as much as we can be, but how prepared can you ever really be?

I try to keep the really detailed stuff off of this blog, and maybe that’s been to the detriment of me being able to keep this up to date on a weekly basis. Part of it is Op Sec. I’m starting to come around to keeping as much personal detail off of here as possible.  There seem to be more and more studies too about how it’s unhealthy for your child’s development when so many personal details about them appear online, especially via Facebook.  As much as we want to share the joy in our lives with people, it’s teaching our children that they can post anything about their lives online.  I also recently read an opinion piece about how Facebook is ruining humanity as a whole, but totally flipping the way we perceive ourselves. Instead of our real world personas dictating how we present ourselves online, our real life personas are actually being decided and mirroring our online personas. I know it doesn’t sound that scary for some people, but considering how many internet dicks there are out there, entire generations are their online personas. And if you’ve ever played Call of Duty online, that should scare the hell out of you.  It’s almost enough to make me want to quit Facebook.  I’ve thought about it before, or at least to severely limit my interactions there.  I’ve tried to really, and will probably pull myself out of that muck even farther once the baby is born. Personal, face to face interactions are best, and that’s what I want to teach my child.  In fact, now that I’m writing about that, I suppose I should really talk to my wife about a strategy for just how much we’ll share online about our child. So honey, when you read this, let’s remember to talk about that, ok?

On that note, but trying to keep a certain level of privacy, we were informed a couple weeks ago that we were no longer able to use a midwife, and will have to switch to a doctor.  I’m bummed out a little about that, and I know my wife is too. Even though where we’re having the baby has a rotation of midwives, and we weren’t guaranteed we’d get ours, I still prefer the midwife experience over the doctor.  I’m hoping that could change yet again, but I have no idea.  I just know that we were more comfortable with a midwife.  To me, that was a big deal.  I’m sure a doctor will deliver the baby just fine, but I have visions of myself having to yell at a doctor.  If you’ve ever seen me yell, a) you are in a very small club, b) you know that me actually angry enough to yell is not a good thing, and c) I’m sorry.  I’m very protective of my family though.  Like I said, I’m sure things will be fine, but I liked the comfort and familiarity we’ve built up with our midwife, and I felt that even if she didn’t make the delivery, that the others would at least be on the same of very similar page. Doctors (to me) don’t seem to have that same rapport, or convey the same sort of feelings. They make it seem very clinical and surgical, instead of natural. 

Anyway, that’s enough rambling on today.

Gardening

This past weekend my brother in law and his girlfriend came over to help get the garden started.  With the wife in her last month of pregnancy, and me with a gimpy foot, it’s been hard to get yard work done on my own.  The BIL’s girlfriend also wanted a place to garden, as they don’t have one, and I gladly would share our space to help alleviate some of the work.  With the baby almost here, I know my available time for yard work is going to go way down. 

So, yesterday we tilled (manually...ugh) half the garden.  A little back story on the garden first though.  When we bought our house last year, the garden hadn’t been touched in years.  It was full of weeds that were well over 6 and 7 feet tall, some of them very woody.  Last year I killed them off, and chopped them down.  This spring I tarped the rest of the garden over to try and kill off whatever was left and attempting to grow. Luckily, we got most of it.  So, back to the tilling.  Luckily, my lazy streak, foot pain, and slight ability to think logically all came together, and instead of tilling all 10x20 some feet of garden, we decided to only do half.  Smart move, considering the soil was basically clay and had been extremely compacted. We hadn’t bought a ton of vegetables, so there was really no need to break our backs doing the whole garden.  After finally getting our roughly 10x 10 (maybe 10x 12?) section tilled, we mixed in 200 lbs of compost and added 400 lbs of top soil.  It barely made a dent in raising the level as high as I would like it, but this is going to be a multi year process.  We planted some zucchini , a couple different varieties of tomatoes, straighneck squash, and finally some red, green, poblano and cayenne peppers.  We then re-tarped the other half of the garden for now. It’s possible that I may till and get it ready for a late summer/fall crop, but I’m not worried about it right now. If that doesn’t happen, there is always next year. 

We also planted some deck boxes of herbs.  Thyme, Dill, Basil (in it's own pot), oregano, rosemary and parsley.  I’m hoping they get enough light sitting where they are, I’ll have to keep an eye on them. Herbs and deck boxes are new to me, so we’ll have to see.

I also planted a spearmint plant along the back of the house. The previous owners were absolutely horrible at landscaping, and taking care of the yard in general. So, the bed that is along the house is half full of rocks, and weeds.  I will clean the rest of the bed out, and I plan on putting in a root barrier and letting the mint proliferate all throughout the beds along the house as decorative plants/ground cover. Mint is obviously also good for cooking, and making Mojitos.

We also have two apple trees in back that my dad and I have been trying to rehabilitate them, as they were never pruned or taking care of.  Hopefully, they’ll produce again, and we can harvest some apples this year. They did produce last year, and since we’re getting them back into shape, I hope we can get some better fruit this year.  In the future, I’d like that add a couple more beds for berries. Raspberries and strawberries for sure, and maybe we’ll attempt something else too. 

All of this work will hopefully pay off.  I’d really like to have the garden, and the rest of the yard producing for when the baby starts growing up.  It’d be nice to have fresh veggies and fruit for her, and also to teach her how to garden, and about self sufficiency.  Plus, it’s another great way to make sure we’re outside, enjoying fresh air, and not watching TV. 

Week 32

Well, we’re winding down.   Just over 8 weeks left.   We’ve started our childbirth prep classes.   We have a breastfeeding class tonight.  That should be interested. They invited us male partners to it. I’m not sure exactly what my role will be for that, aside from generally being supportive.  I suppose that’s what the class is for though, right?  Next week newborn care starts. Pretty excited for that actually. As these ramp up, it means we’re getting that much closer!

We have most of the stuff for the baby’s room now.  Just waiting for the chair to arrive at the store so I can pick it up.  We also need to go get the mattress.  But then I think we should be good. Then it’s on to all the other fun stuff.  

Speaking of which, my wife’s first shower is this weekend.  I’m pretty excited about that, even though I won’t be there. I know that she doesn’t love being the center of attention, but she definitely deserves to be this one time.  You only get one First Baby Shower.  I hope it goes extremely well, and she has fun.  It is all about her and the baby!  I won’t lie, I’m excited to see what stuff we need that we registered for is received.  I mean, that sounds sort of horrible, but really, it’s the only part of this that I get to be involved with (you know, hauling gifts in from the car, putting stuff away, haha!).  Plus we did some pretty in depth research on the stuff we registered for to make sure that it was BPA free, PVC free, etc.   Plus I shouldn’t be allowed to shop for baby stuff.  I roll my eyes when my wife always makes a B line for the baby clothes at Target, but it takes all my strength and effort to not give in to the urges, and go on a baby shopping spree.  It’s probably a really good thing that places like Pacifier, Baby Grand, and Peapods are nowhere close to our house or my work!

Until next week…

Week 29/30

So, yes, I have been slacking. But wait, here are my excuses!!  With work as crazy as it’s been, and with two writing classes, I really haven’t found a lot of free time to keep up. It’s my bad. At least school is almost done!  I take full responsibility. It’s just really hard to find the motivation to keep up with a personal project when so much other time is dedicated to writing projects I paid money (tuition) for.  

So first up, let’s talk about last week.  It was a great, but busy week for baby related things!  We started our Childbirth prep class. It seems like it will be a good class for the next few weeks. Nothing really major so far there though, just some good pointers about what to expect. Most we’ve heard about or read about, but there was enough other information to make it worthwhile also.  I look forward to attending this week. 

On Saturday, we attended a Newborn/infant sleep class.  This class was highly informative.  It mainly dealt with three stages for infants in sleeping related issues. First was 0-3 months.  Basically, it came down to anything goes.  Whatever it takes to get the child to sleep, whether that be constantly holding them, driving them around,  white noise, etc etc etc.  The instructor let us know that there are no bad habits at this point, and nothing that will really need to be corrected in terms of any habits that arise.  The baby for this first period really has no way to self sooth, so it’s all acceptable (as long as it’s safe!)   The second stage was 3-6 months, and they talked about starting to create good habits around the child sleeping ; Schedules, the use of some of the techniques in “The Happiest Baby on the Block” (swaddling, shushing, etc).   The most interesting thing I think this covered is that baby sleep patterns are completely different than adults.  Instead of going into a deep sleep first, and then cycling into a lighter sleep, babies run opposite.  They go light, then deep.  They also taught us how to spot the “Golden Moments” of sleepiness and when to put a child down to sleep.  There are signs that happen before the yawning starts, and sometimes by then it will be too late to get them down for good quality restful sleep.   The 3^rd grouping was from 6 months on, where it was basically stated that if you have reinforced any of the “bad habits”, you need to stop immediately, and in fact may have to do some more heavy duty sleep training to get those habits corrected.   I can go into some of it in more detail, but my wife has our notes.   The instructor, who was a lactation consultant, RN, and midwife was also very enthusiastic about swaddling (if not leaving the child alone) and things like sleep sacks and woombies.   It was a very good class.  I feel like it gave us a number of tools to approach the issue, even though it is different for every child.  And, knowing at what point we need to stop any “bad” sleeping habits to ensure the child sleeps well later on was most important.  It was nice to see that even people with children already were taking the class too. 

So this week we go back for Childbirth Prep.  Should be interesting again I hope.  Even though we’re getting closer and closer,  I’m not getting any more nervous.  I expect that will change as we get even closer, and definitely when we get to the hospital when my wife goes into labor.   It will be down to 10 weeks tomorrow, and I have a feeling that time will fly by.   The instructor at Childbirth Prep stated there was a high likelihood that since my wife is a first time mother that she’ll go past her due date.  We both have a feeling though that since we were both early, that our child will be early.  I think my wife is hoping for it anyway. Not really early, but maybe a week or two.  I think she’s kind of over the pregnancy thing.  Morning (all the time, past the first trimester) sickness, and now borderline gestational diabetes.  Luckily, that’s not too bad (although, don’t tell her that).  She has to watch carbs, but it could be worse. 

Anyway, I’ll report back next week!

27 weeks down, 13 to go.

Between work, school, and taking care of the house, I’ve found it very hard to write anything regarding the baby, or my thoughts.  And from an emotional standpoint, not much has really changed on my end.  I think until the baby is born, or if there is something very exciting going on, I’m going to scale this back (or really, due to the lack of writing, bump this up.)   Since the due date falls on a Tuesday, and I read the weekly updates for “What to Expect…” on Tuesdays, I think that today is the best day to make a weekly update of my own. I’m going to try and hold myself to this, and if I start to slip, please remind me!

The biggest thing that has been going on is that my wife has popped out more, and the baby is getting much larger.  I can actually see my wife’s stomach move as the baby kicks or moves around.  It’s very fascinating.  I can also really feel the baby kick now too. Before it felt like maybe someone was ever so lightly tapping my palm. Now it’s feeling like a full on THUMP!   Sometimes, I wonder if she’s practicing drumming. I secretly hope so.  Although, I’d be afraid she’d be flaky like a drummer than too (I still love you, all my drummer friends!).   I was talking to her yesterday through my wife’s stomach and she kicked me in my face.  I guess that means she heard me.  Hopefully it doesn’t mean she didn’t want to hear me. 

Also, we’re just about down with the baby’s room.  It’s kind of sad, but I can’t wait to finish decorating it.  I think it will all seem that much more real. 

And really, that’s it.  27 weeks down, 13 to go.  Seems like such a long time now.  I feel bad for my wife, considering how much time she spent not feeling well. And now she’s getting to be uncomfortable.  But, we’re very excited to meet her when she arrives.  Even though we have a lot to do still, June can’t come soon enough.

15 weeks to go!

I realize it's been a while. Things have been kind of busy around the old homestead. We did get the crib and dresser for the baby's room about a week ago. I'm hoping (with help) to get her room painted this coming weekend. It would be great to have that project put to bed and done. Then we just need to pull the trigger on a recliner/glider for her room also. Soon, very soon hopefully.

The thing that triggered my need to write today was this. I saw a picture a friend posted of her child, and I got really excited to meet ours. The first thought was, I wanted to get another ultrasound to see what she looks like today. Then I just wanted to meet her face to face. See who she looks like, hold her in my arms. Find out what sort of disposition she has. I really just can't wait to meet her. I'm pretty excited about it. That's really all I've got today. I could go on and on about my hopes and dreams for her, and I'm sure I will, but I don't feel that now is the time. My hopes now are that she is happy and healthy when she is born. Everything else can come after that. Sorry, this one is going to be short today, but since we're getting closer and closer, I feel that there will be more to write. And once the bedroom (nursery) is finished, I'll be sure to post up some pictures of that.